Video | Vodka for Sale

[turnanythingon]

[ Lucifer is back, and for some reason lacking a shirt. But he's not going to discuss that. Or re-introduce himself. He's just gonna launch into a thing. All smiles and charm as if he isn't seething in rage at Skadi for recent events. ]

I am proud to present to you, the first in all of this Asgard, the one and only, Devil's Own Vodka.

[ Looking rather proud of himself, he presents a bottle with a hand drawn label of a devil emoji surrounded by fire. Calling it crude would be generous. ]

As you can see, my logo there. Since emojis have not yet been invented, this one is mine. I now own the copyright. If someone takes it upon themselves to make them happen, you owe me one miniscule favor each an every time you use it. And those do add up.

But I'm not here to discuss modern hieroglyphics. This is about the nectar of the devil. I'm sure you want to get your hands on it, but the first batch is in high demand so I'm auctioning off single bottles to whoever can make me the best offer.

AFTER I explore the wonders of memory loss and alcohol poisoning. Cheers.

Comments

text;

[channellings]

what kind of offers are you accepting??

[because that's what he really wants to know.]

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[turnanythingon]

That's the beauty of an offer, it's whatever you're willing to trade.

text;

[imahealerbut]

The label looks bad. It's not worth the copyright.

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[turnanythingon]

Your criticism has been noted and ignored.

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[dorzalta]

[ There are so many things about this communication which she doesn't understand. Things this moderner makes references to that clearly ousts him as a someone from a far more advanced realm than her own.

Which, of course, means that there are going to be endless questions. Prepare yourself, Lucifer. ]

I can't say I've ever heard of vodka before. Or emojis. [ At least she understands the purple spot is a face. ] Is that your House's banner and motto, ser? What are the red and orange lines meant to represent?

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[turnanythingon]

[ Oh. Right. He'd nearly forgotten people here were...a little uneducated. In a lot of things. But that wasn't the important part here. ]

What? That's clearly fire.

text.

[cecidit]

Vodka? Given where we are, I would think mead to be more appropriate.

[ You can't see it, but he's currently imperiously surveying his surroundings. ]

I'm also curious where this "high demand" you mentioned is coming from. Doesn't seem too high from here.

[ Sorry, Lucifer. He's decided that, in lieu of anything else, antagonizing the devil is a productive activity. ]

text.

[turnanythingon]

[ Sounds like someone doesn't have anything worthwhile to trade. Besides, why on earth would he want to do anything thematically appropriate? ]

Then you must not be paying attention, as this is the ONLY source of alcohol to be found in the entire city, that isn't squirreled away in someone's private stash.

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[momsboy]

Did you really draw that label yourself? It's kind of adorable.

[ Sure that's what Lucifer was aiming for. He's hoping the Vodka tastes better than your brand looks, man. ]

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[turnanythingon]

There's nothing "adorable" about branding. And if you'd like a bottle, you will need to make a rather impressive offer.

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[thequitecontrary]

[ Mary is staring, her brow furrowed, for... various reasons. 1) why isn't he wearing a shirt? 2) what is an emoji? 3) why would you name a vodka that? And 4) ]

You've made your own vodka? How?

[ As far as she knows, there aren't any distilleries here. ]

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[turnanythingon]

[ The answers to those questions were all very simple: 1) because he can, 2) fun things and 3) because he can ]

Cheap labor.

Text then Audio

[mindseer]

L1K3 H3CK!
H3R3 Y0U G0!
>:]
C0MPL3T3 W1TH H0RNS!

[Ok, enough of that. She had a laugh and switched to audio.]

Hahaha, joking aside, that's totally my emoji. I'm the one with horns here too after all. But what's this vodka stuff you're gabbing about? That a human soporific?

Audio

[turnanythingon]

[ Oh geeze, not this girl again. ]

What the bloody hell is a--I suppose that could be a word for it. It puts some people to sleep. Others it convinces them they're good at things like dancing. Or speaking.

[VIDEO]

[demonicbeauty]

[Ariadne's still not entirely on the network bandwagon, so it's her shapely silhouette again.

Her voice is just as perky as usual, though.]

You're back.

[VIDEO]

[turnanythingon]

I never left.

[ And in all that time she hadn't adjusted it seems. ]

You do know these things have a pure audio function, do you not? It's far less suspicious than hiding yourself on video.

[madcuriosity]

That's a very good drawing, sir! [Alice, an artist herself, was always told you should encourage other artists by her sister.]

What is an emoji? Is that were you can make the little faces with writing? And what is a copy-write? Are you looking for someone to copy your writing?

[turnanythingon]

Go ask... [ Wait, her parents probably weren't here. Or anyone else parent like. Wait, he knew just who to go for. ] ..Odin.

[ Then he muttered something with a sigh that wasn't quite picked up. Something about not playing babysitter. ]

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[sanityinruins]

How quaint. Truly something to celebrate even if it is a rather poor drink.

[ Ye Zun may be smiling and looking pleased, but his voice is is this end of being amused by something. ]

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[turnanythingon]

I beg your pardon. This is the finest drink you'll find in the entire city.

[ Even if it's the ONLY one available. But still. ]

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[353]

Shouldn't you be offering free samples? How's anybody meant to know if it tastes good?

[ Marketing advice from a fourteen year old. ]

( NOT HERE BUT..... )

[devilsheel]

[ FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, CHILD ]

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[devilsheel]

[ It pains her to say this but: ] You know, you could've learned a thing or two from Trixie, when it came to drawing. Just saying.

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[turnanythingon]

[ He frowned at her. Looked at the label. Back at her. ]

I would hope your offspring knows nothing about alcohol, let alone making labels for it.

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[thatsnake]

[ Crowley contemplates inventing an entire emoji library composed solely of shitty devilfaces, as he studies the bottle onscreen with only mild outward interest. ]

Kid upthread is right. Free sample first, then I'll make you an offer.

If it's worth it.

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[turnanythingon]

[ Wow, Crowley. Rude. ]

No samples, I'm afraid. It's a very limited supply and none can be spared. Either you want the only alcohol to be found in all of Asgard, or you don't.

[ He might also be angling to keep as much of it for himself as possible while also flaunting that it exists. ]

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

What's an emoji?

I'll do you a huge favor, no questions asked, for a single bottle of that. I've been in dire need of alcohol since I got here.