asgardgenesis | Video | Vodka for Sale

[ Lucifer is back, and for some reason lacking a shirt. But he's not going to discuss that. Or re-introduce himself. He's just gonna launch into a thing. All smiles and charm as if he isn't seething in rage at Skadi for recent events. ]

I am proud to present to you, the first in all of this Asgard, the one and only, Devil's Own Vodka.

[ Looking rather proud of himself, he presents a bottle with a hand drawn label of a devil emoji surrounded by fire. Calling it crude would be generous. ]

As you can see, my logo there. Since emojis have not yet been invented, this one is mine. I now own the copyright. If someone takes it upon themselves to make them happen, you owe me one miniscule favor each an every time you use it. And those do add up.

But I'm not here to discuss modern hieroglyphics. This is about the nectar of the devil. I'm sure you want to get your hands on it, but the first batch is in high demand so I'm auctioning off single bottles to whoever can make me the best offer.

AFTER I explore the wonders of memory loss and alcohol poisoning. Cheers.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I get it, she’s an independent woman. She’s also pretty high up there on the intimidating scale.

It's a necessary qualification for being Hell's head torturer.

I’m sure it is. But what do I know about hell, you always tell me I’ll never make it down there anyway.

Precisely. You know all you'll ever need to know.

You realize I’m a detective, finding out everything I can is part of my job.

I'm afraid hell's a bit outside your jurisdiction, Detective.

Doesn’t mean I can’t investigate or try to gather up as much information as I can.

Why on earth would you want to even investigate hell in the first place? You know me and Mazikeen. That's all you need.

Are you afraid I’ll find something you don’t want me to see or know about?

Of course not. There's nothing you'll find that's worse than anything I've already told you. Or that we don't already deal with on a daily basis, come to think of it.

So everyone we deal with, that’s what’s in hell?

[ She understood that, rapists, killers, the bad guys. They all would end up down there. There would be no place for them anywhere else. ]

And the demons? The people that get put down there, do they turn into demons? Help me understand here.

[ He lets out a small laugh. What a ridiculous idea. ]

It's a prison, Detective. The prisoners don't get to become the wardens, do they?

[ As much as she wanted to smile at hearing him laugh, Chloe kept her expression neutral. Expectant. ]

Right. Demons are wardens. But why can’t the bad guys turn into ugly demons for all the ugly crimes they committed? They’re lifers down there. You know, painful, horrible mutations.

[ She would have seen his dramatic eye roll and throwing up his hands...if not for the fact that the video was attached to his wrist so it was all just a blur. He righted it quickly and rolled his eyes again just for proper effect. ]

Because they can't. A human becoming a demon is as absurd as a dog becoming human. Demons aren't evil, and they're not made from evil. No more than a tiger or a bear is evil. They're basically predators only it's guilt and suffering they feed on rather than blood and meat. It's really that simple.