Video | Vodka for Sale

[turnanythingon]

[ Lucifer is back, and for some reason lacking a shirt. But he's not going to discuss that. Or re-introduce himself. He's just gonna launch into a thing. All smiles and charm as if he isn't seething in rage at Skadi for recent events. ]

I am proud to present to you, the first in all of this Asgard, the one and only, Devil's Own Vodka.

[ Looking rather proud of himself, he presents a bottle with a hand drawn label of a devil emoji surrounded by fire. Calling it crude would be generous. ]

As you can see, my logo there. Since emojis have not yet been invented, this one is mine. I now own the copyright. If someone takes it upon themselves to make them happen, you owe me one miniscule favor each an every time you use it. And those do add up.

But I'm not here to discuss modern hieroglyphics. This is about the nectar of the devil. I'm sure you want to get your hands on it, but the first batch is in high demand so I'm auctioning off single bottles to whoever can make me the best offer.

AFTER I explore the wonders of memory loss and alcohol poisoning. Cheers.

Comments

[mindseer]

[Yep, she's like a bad penny...]

Yeah, that's what I thought. You know, that stuff never quite works on me. It's sugary, carbonated stuff that messes with trolls.

Whattaya make that stuff with anyway?

[turnanythingon]

[ ...what? ]

Sweet and carbonated? Are you telling me you get drunk on soft drinks?

[mindseer]

Yuuuuup. Trolls have a weird reaction to the combination of carbonation and a lot of sugar. It's a bit like how that bubbly stuff hits a human's head real fast. We have to watch the sugary intake.

[Yes, yes she was absolutely saying that sugar got her drunk. It took a fair bit, but never give this girl a two liter.]

Faygo's the worst, but I know to watch myself around that crap. Eridan always said he could handle it, but Eridan was a show-off douche, so...

[turnanythingon]

[ Is this what other people feel like when he talks about his family? Even the parts he understands don't make a whole lot of sense. But he wasn't going to go poking into it, because he's pretty sure she might be crazy. ]

I assure you there isn't a single grain of sugar to be found in this.

[ But he is curious to see if trolls are capable of getting drunk on regular alcohol. ]

[mindseer]

[Hmmm... She hadn't ever bothered to try Rose's crap when she'd been drinking heavily. It smelled disgusting.]

I'll think about it, if you're offering. But so... what's this stuff made out of again?

[Jury was out on that one, but it definitely didn't affect them like sugar. It was weird.]