asgardgenesis | Video; Where's The Laughter in Slaughter?

[When the camera gets turned on, the first thing to note is that Ivar's face is streaked in blood that has only just started to dry in places. Someone's been out worshiping with the natives in a fashion very familiar to a Viking. If y'all hadn't gotten the impression Ivar was a bloodthirsty barbarian from a bygone era, the imagery is definitely reinforced with the dripping red streaks on his face. Also is that some around his lips as well? Has he been drinking the stuff too? Honestly, though, he seems quite pleased by what's been going on even if everyone else might be disturbed by the casual slaughter of the cows. His tone starts off very serious, since worship is important where he's from.]

About time this place started getting some proper worship going. I know most of you all are from soft places-- [The scorn in his tone is obvious.] --but blood sacrifices are always the best when giving due diligence to these gods where I am from. Blood demands blood, especially if you want them to be on your side in battle, or to favor you at all. It's really not all that different then slaughtering animals for food, just with more rituals and rites to it.

[Then he switches back to his usual tone that ranges somewhere between insanity and half-truths end tends to indulge in.]

It's a good thing we finally got the right sort of animals around here. Otherwise, I might have had to resort to sacrificing one of you. [He muses for a moment before laughing.] I'm joking of course! [Beat.] Human sacrifices only work if they're willing participants.

[OOC: This post is for a general discussion, so feel free to have threads amongst all the characters and thread-jacking rather then just talking with Ivar. Do let me know if you do want a specific thread with him! He has rather...strong opinions about this.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, that's like never meant anything. I'm a Vault Hunter, people like pay me to turn up at their parties. Sure as hell never stopped shit like Handsome Jack from happening.

Yeahhh, the difference is that Jack thought of himself as a god so, uh, you know ... Bit different.

Is it? 'Cause he used to call us up allllllllll the time. "Hey why don't you quit it, hey you should stop, heyyyyyyy I'm going to kill your whole family if you don't just lay down and die, heeeeeeeeey I killed the people you care about and it'll get worseeee if you don't."

Point is - not that he was crazy, sure he was. But that he 100% told us all the time to stop, but we sure as hell never listened. If we just tell 'em to stop just 'cause we don't like it, when we're a bunch of strangers, do you really think they're going to take to it that well?

And if we do it, and get shouty about it when we have like no stakes in the game - do you really think we're exactly like, better than some scum corporate? Maybe we're not Jack, 'cause no one's as bad as Jack, but like - leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth. Especially because half the people shouting right now sure do sound pretty pissy like they grew up in the fuckin' rich part of Eden-5 and never had a clue how everyone else lives.

[ Excuse you, he's taking offense to 'scum corporate'.

Except, you know, nice to know Gaige doesn't include him with corporations? Just what he wanted.

FOLDS ARMS. ]

I don't see anyone actually shouting about anything. Just because Jack didn't know when to shut up doesn't mean we can't ... make suggestions to these people. They practically treat us as royalty, and you can think what you want about us taking advantage of that, but they'd probably be more willing to listen to us than you think.

[ As he should, Corporate Scum that he is. Even if Gaige doesn't know it. ]

Sure they are. Maybe they're saying it with big fancy words, but they are. I took a politics class too, bud. You don't need to raise your voice to shout down other people. You can just, oh I don't know, have a lot of money.

[ This isn't personal, is it, Gaige? Not at all. ]

And what are you going to do if they won't like those suggestions?

What? Nothing. I don't care about this place. I just want to get out of it.

Yeah, well, you probably should. First rule of Vault Hunting, bub. You gotta know what the fuck is going on around you in a real way, find your people, and have some investment or go figure, someone betrays you and leaves you in a ditch 'cause you're being a jerk.

Sure, that's great, except I'm not a Vault Hunter. I don't see how I'm a jerk for not caring if the Asgardians don't like us butting in, either.

[ She crosses her arms. ]

Yeah, you are. Vault Hunter and Jerk. You are.

[ Oh no. Why is she calling him Vault Hunter. Not good. Not the worst - her knowing he's Hyperion would be worse - but not great. ]

What part of me would make you think I'm a Vault Hunter? I can't even use a gun. And why am I a jerk all of a sudden?

Maybe you aren't a very good one. I'm not saying you're freaking Mordecai here. I'd never killed anyone on purpose until I landed on Pandora.

[ But drums her fingers nonetheless. ]

But you are on Pandora. No one willingly goes to Pandora, not anymore. No, they're there either because they're a) a corporation, and since you aren't wearing that stuff everywhere and talking about it all the time like eveerrrry corporate jerk I've ever met, that means you're there for the other reason.

Or b) a Vault Hunter.

[ Welp, he wishes he could say he hadn't killed anyone on purpose before Pandora, but that's not how Hyperion works.

Clearly, he's way smarter than all those corporate jerks too. Nice.

Her thinking he's a Vault Hunter is also way better than thinking he's a corporate jerk, so he supposes he might as well stop trying to hide the fact that he not-really-but-also-kind-of came to Pandora to find a Vault. So he sighs, shoulders slumping a little, and grimaces before he concedes: ]

Okay, fine. I was looking for a Vault. And I definitely would've died already if I didn't have help.

[ Never mind that a lot of that help was a Hyperion Loader-Bot. He can give Sasha and Fiona the credit just to avoid giving that away. ]

[ She points a finger accusing down the screen at him like she means to poke him right in the chest. ]

Thought so, and yeah. We all do. I'd be freaking dead without the other Vault Hunters, and they'd be dead too without me. We help. That's the first rule of Vault Hunting, that's how you survive to do all the crazy stuff. You work with people, even if you don't always get it.

So maybe try doing that, instead of getting all high and mighty about some blood. Its blood. It'll wash out. You know what doesn't? Being a jerk and not bothering to meet people halfway. That shit hangs around and 'causes more pain. Trust me.

[ Excuse you?? He's been trying his best to not be immediately judgmental, thank you very much! Go yell at someone else! ]

I'm not-- I'm not being high and mighty. I'm not even saying they shouldn't do this! So long as they don't shove it in my face I couldn't care less! I just feel like, you know, why not make sure it actually does something? Otherwise it's just ... pointless. I get that Pandora's filled with pointless violence and you've been there too long but there's no reason to watch that shit happen somewhere else.

Wow. You even hearing yourself so far, dude? You literally just said you don't see how you're a jerk for not caring about just deciding how other people live their lives, when you just turned up like, a couple of months ago.

You're the one not hearing me!

[ He scrubs his hands over his face with a frustrated groan. Okay. Time to back it up. ]

Whatever. Whatever! What difference does it make if they slaughter a few cows and paint the walls with blood? I don't care! Okay? I don't, so just-- Never mind.

[ It's gross it's gross it's gross is he not allowed to be grossed out? For god's sake. ]

Aren't I?

[ She's stubborn as hell, apparently, her arms crossed on her end, teeth set against each other. ]

That's the spirit.

Great! Talk to you later.

[ Or something. Ugh. ]

Video; Where's The Laughter in Slaughter?

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