asgardgenesis | Video; Where's The Laughter in Slaughter?

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Video; Where's The Laughter in Slaughter?

[When the camera gets turned on, the first thing to note is that Ivar's face is streaked in blood that has only just started to dry in places. Someone's been out worshiping with the natives in a fashion very familiar to a Viking. If y'all hadn't gotten the impression Ivar was a bloodthirsty barbarian from a bygone era, the imagery is definitely reinforced with the dripping red streaks on his face. Also is that some around his lips as well? Has he been drinking the stuff too? Honestly, though, he seems quite pleased by what's been going on even if everyone else might be disturbed by the casual slaughter of the cows. His tone starts off very serious, since worship is important where he's from.]

About time this place started getting some proper worship going. I know most of you all are from soft places-- [The scorn in his tone is obvious.] --but blood sacrifices are always the best when giving due diligence to these gods where I am from. Blood demands blood, especially if you want them to be on your side in battle, or to favor you at all. It's really not all that different then slaughtering animals for food, just with more rituals and rites to it.

[Then he switches back to his usual tone that ranges somewhere between insanity and half-truths end tends to indulge in.]

It's a good thing we finally got the right sort of animals around here. Otherwise, I might have had to resort to sacrificing one of you. [He muses for a moment before laughing.] I'm joking of course! [Beat.] Human sacrifices only work if they're willing participants.

[OOC: This post is for a general discussion, so feel free to have threads amongst all the characters and thread-jacking rather then just talking with Ivar. Do let me know if you do want a specific thread with him! He has rather...strong opinions about this.]

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Not sure it would work even with ammo. But honestly? I'm not really ... that worried about him.

You're not worried about a man who threatened to murder you? Publicly?

[ He throws his hands up. ]

Look, where I'm from, people don't stab each other in the front, okay? They stab each other in the back. They're gonna smile at you, and be nice, and probably help you out if it helps them towards their own goals, but as soon as you happen to be standing in the way of those goals? They'll get rid of you, and they might choose to do that by just ... murdering you. Stage an accident, toss you into space, maybe even outright shoot you. And you might not see it coming.

So it's not that I'm not worried, it's just, you know. With Ivar I probably will see it coming, and then I have a chance to avoid it, no matter how slim it is. I've discovered I'm not too bad at getting out of bad situations with my life intact. Plus, the guy's had a lot of opportunities to follow up on his threat but he hasn't yet, so I dunno.

( Damn man, that's a lot. A lot, a lot. Despite living in his own dangerous world, it still surprises Emil hearing about how interpersonally deadly some places are. To his simple brain, this all seems like it would be easy to solve, and yet...? )

I don't know if I get all of that, since it seems like the best way to avoid getting stabbed is to stay away from someone who might be likely to stab you. Whether you see it coming or not.

Sure, that sounds like a solid plan.

[ Dryly. ]

If you haven't noticed, this town is tiny. I can't stay away from him. Better to just try to stay off his 'definitely murder these people' list.

( There is truth to that, especially for those committed to staying in those stupidly tight knit bunks. )

I don't think I ever found out what you did to make him so mad in the first place.

I ... sat on the ground and he almost tripped on my legs, I think. I was dozing? So it's not like I saw him walking. He got really angry about that and I started arguing with him because, uhhh, long day and I was tired and really needed a shower. And, yeah, he definitely overreacted, but usually I ... try to be a bit more careful about picking fights with some random guy.

That's even more concerning. You didn't really do anything.

Realistically, you could just stare at this guy wrong and he'd threaten you again, or worse...why the Gods would want us to spend time here with a potential murderer is beyond me.

[ Sh...rug ...

Emil's guess is as good as his, really. ]

Technically, we're all potential murderers.

( c o n c e r n )

What? I'm not about to murder anyone anytime soon. Are you?

No, just-- With the right circumstances, anyone could. I don't know how else to explain a whole galaxy filled with killers. Because that galaxy is where I'm from.

I'm entertaining the idea of murdering both of you. You do realize I could see this exchange the entire time it's been going on?

[Someone is not amused, and boy, does it show on his face.]

( The look on Emil's face betrays the fact that no, he did not realize this at all. )

Uh...hi?

Hello there. [It's a wonder there's not condensation coming out of Ivar's mouth with how frosty his tone is.] You have approximately one minute to explain yourself before I decide to turn you into lunchmeat.

( Not being the most rational of quick-thinkers, it's hard for Emil to bullshit his way out of this...maybe there's a rationale in not trying to? )

Aren't you proud of being dangerous? I don't think I said anything untrue!

[The ice in his eyes and voice doesn't seem to thaw out at all. At least he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to hunt Emil down and gut him like a fish, so small points for that?]

I am, this is true. But it is supremely rude to talk about someone as if they can't hear every word you are saying. That's happened off enough to me and I greatly dislike it. Imagine if I was doing the same thing to you!

( Normally, that's Emil's main paranoia trigger. It makes him waver for a moment -- but his self-obsession also applies here, and hopefully it swings the argument. )

Well, in this case, I'm talking about something you're proud of. If you were talking about something I was proud of, even if you didn't think I was around, I'd consider myself pretty pleased.

If anything, I'd be more pleased at how noticed I was. ( Even if Ivar's point of pride is...being a dangerous lunatic, which it's a godsend Emil doesn't quickly whisper something along those lines under his breath. )

[It appears Ivar's main impetus in this place is to teach people how to find their proper survival instincts when they engage with him. So far he's doing a bang-up job of it.

His fury seems to diminish just a little bit when Emil tries to present talking about Ivar in a positive light. He nods slowly.]

You may have a point. If am to be talked about, I would prefer for it to be things I take pride in. I suppose that singular brain cell you must possess does work after all.

[Then he points forebodingly with his free hand towards the video screen.]

But I wouldn't do it again if I were you. Next time I will not be so calm when I find out.

[This is calm?]

( He's inching his way out of this as best he can, which is actually quite a miracle -- and something he's a little stunned by himself, seeing as a lot of his decisions end up making things that much worse for him.

Most of the reason he's doing so well here is that he's suppressing the urge to call Ivar a blood-thirsty nutjob with every muscle in his body, and they're currently doing double-duty in order to keep him from noting that he's pretty sure his brain contains more than one cell. )

Yeah, alright, next time. ( Emil is very much hoping that there won't ever be a next time with this guy, but that sadly hasn't proven to be the case yet. For now, though, he quickly shuts his cuff feed off, the better idea compared to seeing how long he can keep his mouth shut talking much more. )

Dude. You're the one going around publicly threatening to murder people. What did you expect? People are scared of you. Are you telling me that's not what you wanted?

Damn right they should be scared of me. [He sounds quite proud of that fact to be quite honest] But I would've expected the two of you to each put your singular brain cell to work and not talk about this right where I could see it. Or would you like it if I talked about you like you weren't right there, Rhys?

[ He exhales, cheeks puffing up with it and everything. ]

All right, we'll make sure to talk about how dangerous you are in private next time. What do you want? An apology?

Actually, yes. Learn some manners instead of whatever rudeness they taught you in space.

[Look at that. The man that likes to burn people alive when they disagree with him just called Rhys out as being the rude one.]

[ If he'd been drinking something, he would've spat it out. ]

I'm sorry? This coming from you?

[ He won't actually deny that he can be pretty rude but, like. This coming from Ivar. ]

That's how you know it actually means something. Because it's coming from me.

[Never let it be said that Ivar was ever predictable in any part of his personality.]

Video; Where's The Laughter in Slaughter?

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