captain's log, entry one ( video; backdated to before the event )

[winscenario]

[ Jim greets the network with a warm, friendly smile. Clearly he's no stranger to these sorts of broadcasts, and even the solid holoscreen is something that he's very used to, which makes it much easier to adapt. ]

Hello, everyone. To those of you who don't know me, which is probably most of you, I'm Captain James T. Kirk. I've arrived fairly recently and I'm still finding my bearings and getting used to this place. It's all very different from what I'm used to, so it's taking a while.

Right now, I'm having trouble with one thing in particular, and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to help with that. See, where I'm from, we have this device called a replicator, which can be used to recycle all kinds of materials and replicate anything you might need. It's very commonly used to replicate food and produce, or even whole meals ready for consumption, for instance. Now, some people do still cook, but I live on board a starship, and we use replicators all the time to get our meals. I can't remember the last time I've cooked something.

[ A pause, then he adds sheepishly. ] ... actually, the only thing I've ever cooked was meat roasted over fire during a camping trip, and that was... a while ago. My point being, I-- don't know how to cook. But it doesn't look like I have many options around here, so I was wondering if a kind soul would be willing to teach me the basics, at the very least.

I don't have much to offer in return, but I can, uh... play chess, play the guitar, sing, and I know some basic hand-to-hand combat. Alternately, I could just share stories about things I've seen and done out there in space, with my crew. Or anything else you might want or need. I could even cook you a meal as thanks once I get the hang it.

[ A bright smile, and he salutes the holoscreen recording his message. ] Hit me up if you're interested. Kirk out.

Comments

Video

[momsboy]

Ey Jim,

A replicator sounds like a very handy machine. [ Peter imagines one could end world hunger with a bunch of them. ]

Mostly all recipes I know are prepared with ingredients that can't be found in this city, since they're alien, but I leaned a few more vegan dishes here. And desserts, I can cook and teach you a ton of these without issue. [ Someone has a sweet tooth. ]

I didn't know you played guitar!

[winscenario]

It is. Food's never a concern when we have those around.

[ And aboard a starship, when they're traveling for weeks or months on end, that can't be a concern. ]

That would be a good start. I really don't know how to make the simplest things, so anything you can teach me I'd be grateful. Even more basic stuff like bread or how to cook the vegetables here, you know?

[momsboy]

Man, I wish my world had those things. Growing up with the Ravager was a pain in the ass because we didn't always have enough food. Or it was of questionable quality at best.

[ Peter's also not a small dude and the Ravager didn't quite get than a growing human being needs at least two meals a day. ]

Gotcha, we will start with the basics then. Making bread is super easy and we have pasta. I will show you how to make stir-fried noodles with vegetables. Since the weather is still hot, we can also make gazpacho soup. Do you like tomatoes?

video;

[tealeafs]

[ Listen, Chizuru was about to offer her help with the whole cooking thing, but her brain is still first kind of stuck on the idea of these replicators. She seems downright baffled by the idea of this replicator. ]

.. Excuse me, captain. I don't want want to seem rude, but.. can you truly make food using only a machine where you come from? Out of thin air? [ These futuristic technology worlds are so weird. ]

[winscenario]

Well, not literally out of thin air, you'd need to have recycled material stored away, but yes. We can replicate food from practically anything you could think of, with nothing going to waste.

[ To him, it's just so normal, that if anything the thought of having to purchase ingredients to cook food and then throw away the leftovers is what's incredibly weird. ]

[tealeafs]

[ Recycled.. material?

That really just makes things more complicated instead of easier to understand. But then again, she's just really not good with all this newfangled technology. ]

I guess that sounds good in some ways.. [ Like not having to throw anything away. ] But is it still good for you? I've always heard that having fresh ingredients is the best thing for food.

voice;

[machinamentum]

Sup buddy.

If anyone tells you anything good - let me know. We call it digistruct, but same deal. I don't know how to cook anything good for crap. I mean, I can, but it's pretty basic kill thing, roast it on a stick over a fire.

[winscenario]

Same thing. Well, not the killing part, but at most I know how to roast some meat or fish over a fire.

I've had a couple people offering, so hopefully I'll learn some basics. I don't know, we could even set up house dinners and gather everyone once a week or something, it'd be a nice bonding experience.

[machinamentum]

Man that sounds good. Sounds like my old base. I'd be in that. I can do the dishes or something.

Or the getting the meat bit if you wanna take care of the rest. Don't mind the mess.

Video

[spirited_lissie]

[So many questions. She's not used to speaking this informally to an adult, but her mouth's running faster than her mind right now.] I wish we had these 'replicators' to make food in my world. Everything has to be made by hand and the kitchens are so stuffy and dark.

My name's Felicity Merriman. I know how to cook, if you don't mind being instructed by a girl. You could tell me more of these machines, and this starship, in payment. I've only seen ships on the sea.

[winscenario]

Well, some people do say that cooked meals taste different from replicated ones. I think that even the best replicated meal can't really compare to the warmth and smell of something straight out of an oven.

It's nice to meet you, Felicity. [ Jim's lips twitch a little, and he tilts his head. ] Why would I mind? Sounds just fine, to me. And I can tell you all about our ships and technology in return.

[spirited_lissie]

I'll have to take your word for it, sir.[Though, she wondered at how much of a relief it would be to just replicate food rather than have to go through the trouble.] Because you're an adult and taking lessons from a girl.

Perhaps...well, I noticed that some time ago, I saw ladies training to fight. I don't suppose you would be against training me in the same?

[She hoped he wouldn't. She wasn't afraid to punch or kick, but without her father or Ben around, she didn't want to be fully defenseless.]

[Video]

[madcuriosity]

Another captain! Well, hello, Captain Kirk! It's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Alice Liddell.

And I know how to bake a little! I could show you how to make biscuits and muffins and even a cake!

hope the 4th walling in meta is okay but let me know othewise and i can edit!

[winscenario]

It's nice to meet you, Alice. [ The last name earns a raised eyebrow but he doesn't comment on it. Instead he smiles, letting out a soft chuckle. ]

Well, I guess biscuits and cakes are just as important for a balanced diet. I'd like that a lot. What would you like from me in exchange?

Totally okay!

[madcuriosity]

You as well, Captain! If you've been on a starship, have you met Lord Peter? He's the lord of the stars! His starship is here too!

And they are, because how can you only ever eat healthy food in your life? Everyone needs something sweet in their life! You said you play chess, will you play a few games with me?

video;

[sanityinruins]

I'm not too sure if I should be impressed by a machine that can make anything from anything, or sad that cooking has become a thing of the past.

[ Say hello to a man dressed in ye olde ancient clothing eating popcorn. ]

I think I will go with sad.

[winscenario]

[ That's probably not the weirdest thing he's seen, so he just greets the stranger with a smile. ]

Well, I wouldn't say it's a thing of the past. Back on Earth it's still fairly common, but for those of us who practically live our lives aboard ships, it's not something we can do regularly. A kitchen on a starship would be too dangerous and more trouble than it's worth when we have the replicators. It's not only easier, but also safer to get food that way.

[sanityinruins]

I suppose that does make sense, however even so, I would think that you would have learned some basics of cooking?

I can't imagine that you never even tried to cook noodles at least once.

video;

[thequitecontrary]

[ Mary smiles at him as the video starts. ]

Would you cook for me if you find someone to teach you? I'm afraid I can hardly boil water for tea.

[ What does a noble lady have to learn how to cook for? She always expected that she would have servants to do that for her. Being here, she can understand the need for learning the skill, but she's not going to do it unless she absolutely has to. ]

[winscenario]

[ Jim's eyebrows lift minutely at that, then his lips curl into a slow, wide smile. ]

Are you looking for a servant or asking me out on a date? Because my answer might be different for both those things.

[thequitecontrary]

[ His response takes her aback and she blushes, thrown off her game for a moment. ]

I would never ask you to be my servant...

[ Which implies that she might ask for the latter. That wasn't really what she was getting at either. ]

Text, UN: GallowsCalibrator

[mindseer]

H4H4H4H4H4!
Y0U H4V3 4LCH3M1Z3RS T00?
H4NDY 1F Y0UV3 G0T TH3 F0RMUL4S BUT TH3Y USU4LLY M4K3 4 WH0L3 L0TT4 JUNK!
N0T SUR3 1LL B3 MUCH H3LP 1N TH3 C00K1NG C4T3G0RY TH0UGH
ST1LL N0T US3D T0 HUM4N C00K1NG

[Replicators are nothing like Alchemizers, Terezi. Replicators don't suck nearly as much.]

[winscenario]

I've never heard of alchemizers before, so I couldn't say for sure. Can you use them to create anything, too?

That's fine. Just figured it'd be easier to ask the city at large like this.

Can you consume human food?

video;

[353]

[ Miserably: ] This sucks. I wanna hear stories about space but I have zero cooking skills. [ He sighs. Loudly. All part of his "take pity on me and tell me stories anyway" plan. Is it working? ]

[winscenario]

[ Jim bites back a chuckle, and instead manages a contained smile. ]

I'm sure we can strike a different deal, if you still want to hear those stories. What sorts of things are you good at?