ᴏᴏ1 ( ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ/ᴛᴇxᴛ ) | ʙᴇʜᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ ɢᴇɴɪᴜs.

[privatizes]

[ good morning, asgard. you are greeted to a singular video, which shows a rather chaotic room in the odin housing unit. it has a desk shoved in the corner, covered in a bunch of spare parts of some cannibalized technology strewn all over the place. but in another corner of the room appears to be something that looks a bit like cooler with a solar panel on it.

tethered to it is a little roomba that has a blinking light, and seems to be attempting to vacuum the place, but is continually yanked backwards by the confines of its charge cord.

and then, once the video shows what it seems to show, a text is also sent out to the entire network, simply stating: ]

READ THIS BEFORE YOU ASK ME SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID:

(1) It's a solar powered generator. It generates something called electricity, which can power things we call machines. It can hold a pretty hefty charge, but it isn't very powerful. I can maybe reboot a battery, and that's about it, until I expand my operation.

(2) No, you cannot have one.

(3) No, I am not building you one.

(4) I'll let you charge your cell phones if, and only if, you bring me any useful garbage you collected when it fell from the sky a few weeks ago.

(5) I don't do delivery.

(6) Don't show up at my door asking to use it. There's a sign-up sheet in the front hall of the library. Go put your name on it and sign up for a time slot.

(7) Seriously, if you show up at my door without an invite, I am revoking your cell phone privileges, and I will use your outdated trash heap you call a smart phone for parts.

(8) You're welcome.

[ what a charmer. ]

Comments

Video

[privatizes]

Oh, thank God, the person I desperately need the approval of to reassure me that my IQ isn't just a figment of my imagination.

[ in the MOST DRY of tones, as he tinkers with the half-built generator. ]

I'm so glad you're here, I was doubting my own brilliance.

[ragnarsson]

Mmmm, yes, I'm sure you've already got plenty of people that are going to pat you on the head and say how wonderfully brilliant it was to create whatever-that-is and the little pet you've got tied up there. When you produce something actually useful, wizard, I shall tell you the same.

[He's actually not joking about that last part. Ivar is suitably impressed by the 'modern-day' tech of his own era. He just doesn't know enough about the generator to really understand why it could be a necessary asset.]

[privatizes]

I'm not a wizard, I'm a genius. Natural-made, without additives. Thanks for the compliment, though.

[ WHY ARE YOU THE WORST. ]

And I might be so inclined to make something useful for you, bu you have to ask nicely. And without the demeaning sass. This city isn't big enough for the both of us.

[ (: ]

[ragnarsson]

And humble too. I see I shall just have to stick around so that someone can keep you down to earth instead of inflating your ego even more.

[He really is the worst. Sorry, Tony. Only not sorry.]

Make me a better weapon then any I've seen before and I'll be very nice.

[Or just be kind to him. It's Ivar's biggest weakness.]

[privatizes]

Mmmmmm, weapons. Not sure about that. I'll consider it, but I checked out of that game a long time ago.

[ making weapons, that is, for strangers. still: ]

But I might be able to improve your bow and arrow game. Maybe. If you're nice.

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar visibly brightens up at the thought of his bow somehow being improved. He looks almost like a regular happy teen, albeit one with a warped interest in ancient weapons.]

If you could do that, I will actually try to be civil when we talk.

[And for Ivar, that's a really big effort.]