ᴏᴏ1 ( ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ/ᴛᴇxᴛ ) | ʙᴇʜᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ ɢᴇɴɪᴜs.

[privatizes]

[ good morning, asgard. you are greeted to a singular video, which shows a rather chaotic room in the odin housing unit. it has a desk shoved in the corner, covered in a bunch of spare parts of some cannibalized technology strewn all over the place. but in another corner of the room appears to be something that looks a bit like cooler with a solar panel on it.

tethered to it is a little roomba that has a blinking light, and seems to be attempting to vacuum the place, but is continually yanked backwards by the confines of its charge cord.

and then, once the video shows what it seems to show, a text is also sent out to the entire network, simply stating: ]

READ THIS BEFORE YOU ASK ME SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID:

(1) It's a solar powered generator. It generates something called electricity, which can power things we call machines. It can hold a pretty hefty charge, but it isn't very powerful. I can maybe reboot a battery, and that's about it, until I expand my operation.

(2) No, you cannot have one.

(3) No, I am not building you one.

(4) I'll let you charge your cell phones if, and only if, you bring me any useful garbage you collected when it fell from the sky a few weeks ago.

(5) I don't do delivery.

(6) Don't show up at my door asking to use it. There's a sign-up sheet in the front hall of the library. Go put your name on it and sign up for a time slot.

(7) Seriously, if you show up at my door without an invite, I am revoking your cell phone privileges, and I will use your outdated trash heap you call a smart phone for parts.

(8) You're welcome.

[ what a charmer. ]

Comments

voice

[needsnoheadsman]

[Robb does not stare in horror at the device. Absolutely not. Definitely not. And that’s not a sigh of relief that Tony’s just heard—probably just a gust of wind.]

So this is his feeding, then? [They don’t have batteries that need charging in Westeros, but they do have pets like dogs, cats, direwolves and dragons, and Robb has gotten surprisingly good at analogies since he got here.] How do you know when he’s finished? He already seems active enough to me, it’s hard to believe he can only go so far before he sleeps.

[Dies is a strong word, for something that can come back to life so easily.]

voice

[privatizes]

[ oh boy. ]

He'll stop eating when he's done eating.

[ explaining a thing like a vacuum is something that he hadn't anticipated, but he should know better. a fool!!!! ]

I can show you how he works, if you want to come over. It's hard to explain without showing you.

[ he supposes he can bend his "sign up sheet" rule for the starks. ]

voice

[needsnoheadsman]

[Westeros doesn't even have electricity, vacuums are so new that Robb's mind is a little bit blown by this tiny little machine that can apparently eat dust. The future is so cool. He wants like, three.]

Will you mind if I came over without having gone to your sign-up sheet first? I don't plan to use him.

[In truth, he just wants to watch, for the sheer novelty of it. He has no idea how else is he supposed to look after a machine like this, or indeed if it even needs much looking after. Probably? If it goes to sleep without charging a lot?]

voice

[privatizes]

[ if tony keeps creating carve-out excuses for people he likes, the sign up sheet will prove to be a useless endeavor. still, he can't help but be amused by the simple curiosity. ]

Sure.

[ with only mild exasperation. ]

I'm free now if you are.