ᴏᴏ1 ( ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ/ᴛᴇxᴛ ) | ʙᴇʜᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ ɢᴇɴɪᴜs.

[privatizes]

[ good morning, asgard. you are greeted to a singular video, which shows a rather chaotic room in the odin housing unit. it has a desk shoved in the corner, covered in a bunch of spare parts of some cannibalized technology strewn all over the place. but in another corner of the room appears to be something that looks a bit like cooler with a solar panel on it.

tethered to it is a little roomba that has a blinking light, and seems to be attempting to vacuum the place, but is continually yanked backwards by the confines of its charge cord.

and then, once the video shows what it seems to show, a text is also sent out to the entire network, simply stating: ]

READ THIS BEFORE YOU ASK ME SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID:

(1) It's a solar powered generator. It generates something called electricity, which can power things we call machines. It can hold a pretty hefty charge, but it isn't very powerful. I can maybe reboot a battery, and that's about it, until I expand my operation.

(2) No, you cannot have one.

(3) No, I am not building you one.

(4) I'll let you charge your cell phones if, and only if, you bring me any useful garbage you collected when it fell from the sky a few weeks ago.

(5) I don't do delivery.

(6) Don't show up at my door asking to use it. There's a sign-up sheet in the front hall of the library. Go put your name on it and sign up for a time slot.

(7) Seriously, if you show up at my door without an invite, I am revoking your cell phone privileges, and I will use your outdated trash heap you call a smart phone for parts.

(8) You're welcome.

[ what a charmer. ]

Comments

[momsboy]

I wouldn't have to use my imagination if we could convince him to reprise it for us.

[ Do you see his grin, Tony? ]

[captain_america]

No.

[ He doesn’t have his suit. It would never work. ]

[momsboy]

If it's because you don't want to do it alone maybe we can find you some majorettes.

[ But Steveeee :C The world needs to see America's ass. ]

[captain_america]

....

[ He just stares at Peter for a minute. ]

You volunteering?

[momsboy]

I'd let you know that my dancing skills are spectacular.

[ Steve, no. You don't know what you are suggesting.]

Alas, I don't know the choreography.

[captain_america]

I think Tony might be able to teach you.

[ Since apparently he stores the videos in his suit- he probably watches them all the time. ]

[momsboy]

Oh but who better than the star of the show to teach me?

The star being you.

[captain_america]

[ wow Peter. He was on your side with the whole roomba thing. This is betrayal. ]

I didn’t actually dance I just punched Hitler in the face a lot.

[ Over 200 times. He’s good at it. ]

[momsboy]

[ It's all out of love! He was a big Captain America fan as a kid, promise. ]

That's even better. It really must have helped raise morale.

[ Steve in general probably raised all kind of things in all kind of people. ]

And it sounds more like your thing than dancing. Have you and Stark known each other for long? I bet there's more embarrassing stories to share.

[captain_america]

[ That gets a short laugh out of him. ]

Well, the kids liked it.

[ wow. Wow. But true. ]

We’ve known each other for about ten years or so. I’m sure he’s got a few stored up just waiting to tell people.

[momsboy]

Yeah I'm sure. When I was a kid we read about you in school.

[ Be proud of everything, Steve. ]

Wow, that's a long time. It's nice to have such long lasting friends.