Video

[assholic]

[There was a lot of pilfered alcohol, fumbled attempts, and finally resignation that had led to this video. Jessica wasn't great at asking for help, or showing that she didn't know what was going on, but this was so far out of her paygrade, she had no idea where to start. She'd poked around the library, but there were things that she couldn't learn there. Not really.

So the network is treated to a semi-annoyed looking dark-haired woman that some might find familiar. The introduction was minor.]

The name's Jessica Jones and I'm looking for- fuck -help with something. I can do this now-

[She'd never been one to shy away from showing what she could do or trying to hide it. She'd always been one of the more open freaks. But like she'd said to Spheeris, people felt safer when they could pretend they didn't know.

So for the camera, she made a fist with her right hand. A small line of concentration creased the middle of her brow and then - Woosh - a sword made of pure fire appeared in her hand. She didn't drop it, though she did flinch because that was never not going to be disturbing. She waved it around a bit. It looked a little like a scimitar, flaring white hot in the center. Then she opened her hand and it disappeared.]

-and that's great and all, but I don't know shit about swords or weapons or anything.

[She was doing an amazing job of not looking like that freaked her out.]

Who's gonna help me figure out how not to slice my other arm off?

Comments

[assholic]

I don't like it -- period.

[All the changes in her life had been rather drastic. Life altering. Generally terrible. She'd rather not repeat any of them.]

Since when has need ever had anything to do with change?

[momsboy]

Fair enough.

[ He won't argue with that, everyone has things they don't like. Peter hates surprises, he never had a good one in his life. ]

Plenty often, actually. But in this city nothing makes sense so my best bet is that our lives will just keep spiraling out of control.

[assholic]

Gee, that's a comforting thought. What, more dragons? Jesus...

[Yeah, that had been... interesting. She'd taken cover during that. She knew her strengths and weaknesses, and without her strength, running headfirst into danger was a dumb thing to do.]

[momsboy]

Dragons aren't the worst thing I fought, but yeah, I don't want a repeat of that either. it's only a shame it disappeared before we could use the dragon's meat.

[ Why is there not a single animals in this world? Peter is fine with salads and vegetables but after months here, he's dying for a steak. ]

At monsters those act on instinct and not a sense of biased righteousness and superiority like certain purple bastard from my world.

[assholic]

Thank god for small favors. That's the last thing we need dumped in our stews to figure out later that it does weird shit. Suddenly blowing fire or having indigestion that makes you shit flame. Maybe you start getting scaly when you find out you're allergic.

[Hey, she'd never eaten dragon before. Who knows what it'd do.]

[momsboy]

[ Jess brings up an excellent point. So much that peter is scrunching up his nose in disgust imagining all the things that could happen. ]

En second though, salads are perfectly okay. Disease-free and everything. Now if only they had actual decent taste...

[assholic]

I'd just be happy if they figured out pizza.

[momsboy]

Ah, pizza...that would be the dream. We don't even have cheese, it's truly a tragedy.

Food woes aside, What's your home world like?

[assholic]

... Like Earth? Jesus, I don't know how to answer that. The notion of there being other planets and people from it that aren't little green men in frisbee UFOs is still a new one. We've had one alien invasion- well, two if you include Thundercrotch and his brother. I don't know what to compare it to, buddy.

[momsboy]

Plenty of folks here aren't from earth, so yeah, that narrows it a bit.

You lost me at 'Thundercrotch and his brother', thought. Please tell me those aren't their actual nicknames. If so, no one's ever allowed to make fun of mine anymore.

[assholic]

I don't fucking know. It's one of what I call them. Greasy Asshole and his Thundersmash bro. Whatever. People swoon over Thor back home and Loki's a prick. They broke my city.

[momsboy]

[ Peter's face goes through quite the array of emotion in the span of a few seconds, going from confusion to recognition and finally giving her a grin. Thundersmash, of course. ]

You're talking about the god of thunder, yeah I know him. I wish I didn't sometimes. He ended up joining my crew a few days before I woke up here but I can't understand why is the fuss about. [ A huff. ] He's not that great, actually he's kind of an asshole. But he doesn't usually break cities on purpose as far as I know, was it during the invasion?

And are you familiar with a purple son of a bitch named Thanos, by any chance?

[assholic]

Nope. Not a fan of the color purple anymore. I think I'd remember someone who was an off color.

[Kilgrave had gotten a purple hue at the height of his power before she'd killed him. And it was his favorite color. She'd been soured on it because of him. She'dve remembered a big purple dude with a nutsack for a chin. She was also a few years earlier in the timeline than Peter. Sorry, bro.]

[momsboy]

I'm starting to believe that colors cursed as well. But it's good you don't know him.

[ Maybe that means they're not from the same world after all. All things considered, it's a good thing for Jess.

No need to be sorry, this is a good thing for her.]

There's a man here named Finn that mentioned a Jess, I suppose he meant you?

[assholic]

[Same world, Pete. Just different timelines.]

The space puppy? Yeah, I guess that'd be me. He's a good kid.

[momsboy]

[ Peter smiles at that but not in a mockery way. It's cute, ok. ]

I wouldn't call him that but yes, it fits him. He is.

I think you cause an impression on him. [ Positive, at that. ]

[assholic]

Oh, I would. And did.

[To his face. Because that's the kind of person she was, Mr. Calls a Talking Raccoon a Trash Panda...]

I doubt it.

[momsboy]

Heh.

[ Birds of a feather, Peter really isn't any better. But since he likes Finn, he hasn't given him any nicknames yet.

Yet. ]

Is the idea of someone liking you that rare? We live among gods.

[assholic]

[Jess gave everyone nicknames. Good or bad. It was how she was. Her and her coping mechanisms.

But that last question had her giving him a look...]

We live among people that say they're gods. I don't believe in that shit. And yeah. I'm an acquired taste.

[momsboy]

[ Tony and Peter did the same, maybe it's a superhero related thing. ]

You don't believe in magic then? After living here? Somewhere a fairy might be dropping dead.

[ Don't do that to the fairies, Jess. :( ]

[assholic]

Uh huh. Sure. Someone can hocus pocus and bring shit back from the dead. I can make a fire sword appear for no reason. I used to be able to throw cars at people. That wasn't magic. Whatever this is... even if it's magic, that doesn't mean that there's gods. It just means there's non-humans that live longer than us doing shit we can't do.

[momsboy]

Your skepticism is admirable.

Me, well, I wish I could actually believe these people are bluffing but giving my own heritage that would be hypocritical of me.

How do you define a real god then?

[assholic]

Easy. I don't. There's no such thing. God and gods and goddesses are concepts that people made up to excuse themselves from having to take responsibility for their own actions. The devil made them do it. God put them on this path. It wasn't murder, it was god's will. Bullshit. People just like having someone else to take the blame, and fictional made-up stories of shit that you can't prove are the best scapegoats of all.

[She gestured through the video.]

This? Whatever these things are, 'god' is just a word. A concept we're using in the wrong way. They might be gods in the sense that's what they call themselves, but they don't rule me. They aren't omnipotent. They can't even control this place. That's not a god to me.

[momsboy]

That's a very earth-focussed type of religion though, Christian oriented. There's plenty of polytheistic religions out there across the universe than act differently. But I do agree that a lot of individuals use the idea of a superior entity as an excuse to be completely shitty to one another.

[ There's a smile tugging at the corner of his lips at that last rant because while Peter knows that god-like entities do exist, he also doesn't want to be anybody's plaything. He made it clear enough with Ego, even after seeing eternity. ]

I like you.

[assholic]

I'm a very earth-focused type of person.

[Since she was from Earth. And didn't leave it. And had no plans to until whoops. That last bit had her wrinkling her nose, eyes rolling.]

Yeah, that'll change.