5th Curious Thought [Video]

[madcuriosity]

I do beg your pardon.... has... has anyone seen Lord Peter and Lady Gamora?

I haven't seen them all day... but I don't know where they are and they didn't leave any note. [Which... isn't like her surrogate parents. But perhaps they eloped rather than trying for a big ceremony. Alice is trying to remain positive on the matter.]

If you see them, could you please let them know I saved them the sandwiches I made for dinner. [Alice isn't allowed to use the stove alone.]

I waited, I did try.

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[winscenario]

There's nothing we can really do. So we'll have to leave it here, I guess, unless the gods decide to take it away or move it elsewhere. We can come visit and keep the place clean every so often.

[ And it was a good way for her to cope with losing Peter and Gamora, he hoped. Honestly it might be just as helpful for him to deal with the loss of one of his closest friends here. ]

You're welcome, Alice. [ He smiled, reaching out to hold her hand. ] I'll help you pack up your things. And we can look around and see what Peter and Gamora may have left behind, so we can keep it all safe with us.

[madcuriosity]

Pack? Oh... [That... that made it feel all the more real. She swallowed and nodded, unsure what else to do, but her vision got blurry and giant warm tears rolled down her cheeks.

Gamora and Peter were gone. It was finally, properly, sinking in. She may well never see them again. Alice had little else to do but curl up and cry.]

[winscenario]

[ Jim nodded slowly, his own face twisting into a pained frown. He reached out when tears started falling down Alice's cheeks, shifting closer to wrap his arms around her in a tender hug. ]

I'm sorry, sweetheart, [ He said, voice shuddering slightly as he fought the urge to cry as well. Peter was such a close friend to him, Jim would miss him immensely-- all the more so when he had no idea whether he'd ended up someplace where he could be happy with Gamora like he had been here. ]

[madcuriosity]

I-I didn't- I didn't even... I didn't get to say goodbye! [She sobbed, her fingers curling into his shirt as she hid her face. Her shoulders shaking with each tear and sob that wracked through her.]

[winscenario]

I know you didn't... I know. [ Jim spoke softly, feeling his own voice shake, both from hearing Alice cry and from realizing that, much like her, he'd never gotten to say goodbye either, and perhaps he would never get to see them again.

He pulled her closer and held her in a tight embrace, not planning on letting go anytime soon. It was good to cry, just let all that out. There wasn't much else he could do for her, unfortunately, so he just focused on offering her as much support as he possibly could. He'd save his own tears for later; Alice shouldn't have to deal with that. ]

[madcuriosity]

[Eventually, Alice cries out all there is to cry. She hiccups and merely clings to Jim, not sure what else to do. She knows she has to pack, but her nose is stuffed, her eyes hurt, and her feet feel heavy. She doesn't want to move. Let her turn into a statue right there with a pretty plaque saying "here sits Alice Liddell." She knew it wasn't a very wordy plaque like they were supposed to be, but it got to the point. Sometimes being wordy made things less...

Less mucher. Sometimes being short and simple had all the muchness it needed.

She pulled her handkerchief from her pinafore pocket and wiped her eyes, sniffling.]

I didn't mean to cry so much. [She hoarsely whispered.] I'm sorry I cried all over you.

[winscenario]

Oh. Don't you worry about that, it's just tears. It's fine.

[ He smiled reassuringly. ]

Besides, it's good for you to cry sometimes. It's a good way to deal with sad feelings. And it's good that you'll miss Peter and Gamora. It means they were important to you, and that they left a mark in your life.

[ Losing people was never easy, but if it were then they wouldn't have mattered at all. ]

[madcuriosity]

[She gave a small nod.]

They were... are important. [She felt small, like she was even smaller than 3 inches high. Even with Jim next to her, letting her live with him and Mary, it felt like Peter and Gamora had taken all her muchness with them. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. She wondered if she would ever see them again.

She wondered if they would even remember her.]

I don't know if they would want me to cry so much about them. [Neither of them liked seeing her upset.]

[winscenario]

Maybe not, but that's just because they wouldn't want to see you sad, and would want to make it better. But sometimes it's not that easy to make things better. Sometimes you have to cry it all out.

[ He cupped her face so he could coax her to look at him. ] It's not good to hold those things in, Alice. You have to let yourself be sad, and you need to let that out somehow. It's good for you. Okay?

[madcuriosity]

[She gave a small nod, she didn't much care for crying, and quite often scolded herself for it. Being told she should let it out though was a new one.]

It's not... that I'm told not to cry... just... everyone around me cries so very little, even when terribly sad things happen. Even now... I'm the only one crying between the two of us. Does it become easier to not cry when you're older?

[winscenario]

[ Jim looked actually surprised and caught off-guard by her words, eyes widening a hint. He leaned back and looked down briefly, then shook his head. ]

No. But no one likes to seem weak, and people often think that they look weak when they cry. When I was a kid, I just forced myself not to cry even when I was really sad. But it's a normal reaction, to cry when you're sad. It's a healthy way for your body to deal with the pain. It's not that I didn't care about Peter, or that I won't miss him--

[ He sucked in a breath, holding back tears despite what he just told her. ] I'm just... not used to showing my feelings like that. I will probably cry later, when I'm alone.

[madcuriosity]

Oh... I... [She looked up at him and shifted again to hug him. She didn't quite understand, if she was to be honest. Why would crying make someone look weak? It may not always be appropriate or help things get done, but Alice never thought of crying as a weakness. Why would it be a weakness, in any case?]

I think... if people weren't meant to cry, we wouldn't be able to. Like flying, we're not meant to do that so we haven't wings. But we can cry very easily. I don't want you to have to cry alone, Captain.

[winscenario]

[ Jim smiled at her words, though his eyes were sad. He let his head drop a little, resting it on her shoulder, eyes closing for a moment. ]

I guess you're right, huh. [ He chuckled, but a small tear formed at the corner of his eye, falling down his cheek. ] You're a very bright girl, Alice.

[madcuriosity]

[She shifted, sitting up on her knees so that she was eye-level with Jim. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek.]

I have very good teachers around me. Like you.

[winscenario]

[ He smiled at the kiss, lifting a hand to wipe his tears away. He wasn't about to start bawling right here and now, at least, but there was still a shuddered little sob that raised up his throat, making his shoulders shake. ]

Maybe we can both learn from each other, huh? [ He looked at her, head tilting. ] How does that sound?

[madcuriosity]

[She gave a small nod, looking over to, well, her dog and all her cats. She let out a soft breath.] It sounds alright to me. But... could we sit here just a little bit longer before we pack?

[winscenario]

[ Jim nodded at her request. ] Absolutely. We can stay here as long as you want.

[ Maybe she'd never be truly ready to leave, but Jim wanted her to at least more or less come to terms with what was happening here. He didn't want to force her to leave and have her in tears for days back at the farm. ]