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[sanityinruins]

[ This video starts out with an image of a short sword that looks like it's made out of cut bone resting on top of a blacken skillet. The camera then focuses on a set of bone cooking chopsticks resting next to a shallow bowl filled with a pale white liquid. Then the camera swings around and focuses on a table laid out with several different Chinese dishes. For those playing at home, the one very simple bottle sitting next to the food looks suspiciously like a rice wine bottle as well.

After giving everyone a minute or two to take in the sight of the food, the video turns off. Because Ye Zun is still a brat and really he is just showing off. ]

Comments

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[needsnoheadsman]

I thought jellied calf's brains were strange enough, but it seems this world is determined to keep surprising me.

Although I will say, those look far more appetizing. [He's got less trauma associated with noodles and dumplings, for one thing.]

perma-video

[sanityinruins]

[ The camera now shows a man with long white hair pinned in place by a couple ivory hair pins wearing a white hanfu decorated with some inky clouds along the sleeves. His smile looking a little like someone who has practiced hard to make it appear normal. ]

I can think of far better things to do with calf brains besides making jelly out of them.

But yes, they are rather good. I was feeling homesick so made a few of my favorite Haixingren dishes.

[needsnoheadsman]

I can too. And before you ask, they didn't taste very good.

[Robb mislikes that smile. Something about it puts him on edge, but he's not sure what, and just because he doesn't quite trust that smile doesn't mean he can afford to be impolite.]

Haixingren? Is that where you're from?

[sanityinruins]

I would be surprised it they did.

[ Don't worry, the smile is a lie. He could totally trust Ye Zun even if he is only behaving because his brother told him to behave. Even though his brother was not here, and the whole 'behave' thing was one of the last things he was told. But still! ]

No. Haixingren is the name we use often for the humans.

[needsnoheadsman]

There's really no way you could make them appetizing, I'm more surprised they even tried.

[...probably they didn't, he reflects now. Live crow or calf's brains, it doesn't make a difference, Lord Frey had wanted to humiliate them before he had them all slaughtered in his hall.

Ah.] If you're not human, then, what are you? [He's as neutral as possible, trying to stay polite. He's seen some strange things since coming here, and he's not about to make the mistake of slighting someone again.]

[action]

[diamondhack]

[Isha had picked up the smell once it began to waft towards her room.

Naturally, curiosity killed the cat and she could only be happy that she already survived her cat phase. She decides to feed her curiosity and make her way towards the kitchen.

She lets out a short, low whistle at the spread.]

And here I was expecting we'd left human culture far behind.

[action]

[sanityinruins]

Human? [ Ye Zun picks up the sword and checks the edge of it before putting it into a complicated looking webbing so it can hang from a hook near at hand. He next picks up the small drinking bowl and downs the liquor. ]

Ah yes, these are some of my favorite Haixingren dishes. I'm afraid that the foods from Dixing are a bit more particular to cook.

[action]

[diamondhack]

[She watches him handle the sword and says nothing. Isha is beginning to realize that maybe her small knives and her bloody brawling may be of little use here.]

Well, we are in a foreign land of gods. I'd never thought to see food that resembles what I've eaten back home. Though I can't say I've heard of "Haixingren."

[sanityinruins]

Most places can be considered foreign once you leave your comfort area, I suppose.

[ He actually doesn't use weapons as much as he should. He can, he just never had enough opportunities to become comfortable with them.

Ye Zun reaches over to flip upright another shallow bowl and pours a second cup of the milky liquor, the fingers of his off-hand pulling back the sleeves of his robes with little thought. ]

It's my people's term for the lands occupied by humans. I suppose the country has it's own name, but for us Dixingren, it is always Haixingren.

[ Drink poured, he sets the bottle down and bends slightly as he offers her the bowl. ] It's not fully mature, but here, try it.

[diamondhack]

[She takes the bowl, eying it curiously.] Supposing that you aren't human, then.

[Not much a question, considering he answered it already. Something in her becomes mildly unsettled at how quickly she's already adapted to non-human humanoid things that aren't robots.

Isha takes a sip.] Not bad. I've been drinking scotch and whiskey for so long I nearly forgot what anything else tastes like.

[She never did pretend about her drink choices across her many identities, at least.]

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[machinamentum]

Dude if you don't share I am totally breaking in and stealing some the hard way.

[ Feeeed herrrrrr. She Hungryyyyyy. ]

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[sanityinruins]

If you think you can, then do so. But you are welcome to stop by in any case. I am at the Odin's place.

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[machinamentum]

On my way. Want me to bring anything?

Like, uh, booze. Don't know what people bring to nice dinners.

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[sanityinruins]

I have that. It isn't strong but that's only because it will take a few months to mature to being truly alcoholic. So bring some if you want.

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[machinamentum]

Gotcha. On it. See ya in a bit.

[ and not so long later, there's a knock on the door. Or more a BANG BANG BANG of a metal fist. She doesn't really know how to be quiet, just about ever. ] Yo, it's me.

(action)

[benedicus]

( if you thought that the smell of food wouldn't attract one misplaced angel, you are absolutely wrong. aziraphale shows up in the kitchen soon after ye zun brags on the network about his cooking prowess. )

It feels like it's been such a long time since I've seen food like this.

(action)

[sanityinruins]

[ Eating is a communal thing where he comes from, not that he had much practice at it. Isolation and lack of any kind of closeness to anyone made it hard to not remember the times before when the family would gather sharing food and tales and daily woes. Ye Zun looked up and then sighs softly, setting down several Chinese-styled plates and utensils on the table. ]

I'm not the cook my brother is, so I do hope it's not terrible.

[ He tilted his head in a slight bow and fetches two servings of rice. ] Please, sit.

(action)

[benedicus]

( the offering of food causes aziraphale's face to light up immediately. warmth and gratefulness is written all over his face as he mimics ye zun, offering him the same depth of a bow as he received. )

Thank you. You're too kind.

( he takes a seat at the table, regarding ye zun with excitement. )

I wouldn't be too hasty to discredit yourself. It already smells delicious.

(action)

[sanityinruins]

[ Even one as inhuman as he was still felt some gratitude towards the face of food. Ye Zun relaxes slightly all while refraining from snorting at the comment. Honestly, he was only being polite; he was not like his brother when it comes to kindness. ]

It would be a waste if it wasn't so, but still my brother has had a lot more practice.

(action)

[benedicus]

If you don't mind me asking, were you very close with your brother?

( obviously, he is considering the way he speaks about him. however, it feels like an important question to ask for the sake of getting to know him a little better. )

[imahealerbut]

Oi!

[Onlookers might realise they are hearing an autotranslated outburst- Wen Qing has reverted back to her native language at the sight of all this familiar food.]

You ye-ren zun!

[你这个野人尊。This epithet involves switching the "Ye" in Ye Zun's name for another Ye (野), meaning "wild". She's calling him a wild person, a Lord Raised-by-wolves, even. It's probably a clumsy pun but Manadrin is not my first language.]

How dare you do this and not even invite the only other cultivator in this place?!

[sanityinruins]

[ He starts and then laughs softly, dipping into a formal bow with a truly genuine smile. Others might find his reaction funny, but it's nice that someone was playing with words in a way he understood. ]

Ah, my apologies Wen-shimei, I should have invited you first. Please forgive this one's lack of manners.

[ And there's a dramatic sweep of his arm towards the food laid out still steaming in the cooler air. ] Please join me.

[imahealerbut]

[She huffs, but there’s no anger behind it- there is just something about the language of your homeland that seeps deep within you and touches the soul. Not just the language. It’s not Ye Zun’s words but the implication behind them that he understands what home is like.

Despite herself, Wen Qing smiles. It’s kind of more like a smirk but you know.]

Are you sure I’m your junior?

[Take it as a compliment; Ye Zun really doesn’t look his age.]

[sanityinruins]

[ His returning smile has a touch of mischief to it as he attempts to look innocent and entirely fails at doing so. His brother would have snorted at his words; Ye Zun may not be from a time when such manners were considered normal, but he still affected them, and Shen Wei had always found the habit a bit childish. ]

Ah, Shimei must be teasing me, I am so blessed despite all the gray in my hair. [ Well, it is more white than gray, but still his point stands. ] Fine, fine, I will accept it.

dw seemed to eat my last reply, if you actually got a doubletag sorry about that!

[imahealerbut]

There's no need to be so humble, it's plain that the gray comes from your arts. [By 'arts' she means martial arts, though she won't assume that Ye Zun is cultivating some dark path. Plenty of other techniques can get you fucked up.] Pardon my rudeness, but I find it funny to think of myself as your shimei- we didn't share a teacher that I know of.

[They're kind of in the middle of nowhere, so she's just more amused by the idea than anything. Allegiances were serious stuff back home. But here it's like, "did Ye Zun also go to medical school?"]

Where should I go to join you?