video;

[sanityinruins]

[ This video starts out with an image of a short sword that looks like it's made out of cut bone resting on top of a blacken skillet. The camera then focuses on a set of bone cooking chopsticks resting next to a shallow bowl filled with a pale white liquid. Then the camera swings around and focuses on a table laid out with several different Chinese dishes. For those playing at home, the one very simple bottle sitting next to the food looks suspiciously like a rice wine bottle as well.

After giving everyone a minute or two to take in the sight of the food, the video turns off. Because Ye Zun is still a brat and really he is just showing off. ]

Comments

perma-video

[sanityinruins]

[ The camera now shows a man with long white hair pinned in place by a couple ivory hair pins wearing a white hanfu decorated with some inky clouds along the sleeves. His smile looking a little like someone who has practiced hard to make it appear normal. ]

I can think of far better things to do with calf brains besides making jelly out of them.

But yes, they are rather good. I was feeling homesick so made a few of my favorite Haixingren dishes.

[needsnoheadsman]

I can too. And before you ask, they didn't taste very good.

[Robb mislikes that smile. Something about it puts him on edge, but he's not sure what, and just because he doesn't quite trust that smile doesn't mean he can afford to be impolite.]

Haixingren? Is that where you're from?

[sanityinruins]

I would be surprised it they did.

[ Don't worry, the smile is a lie. He could totally trust Ye Zun even if he is only behaving because his brother told him to behave. Even though his brother was not here, and the whole 'behave' thing was one of the last things he was told. But still! ]

No. Haixingren is the name we use often for the humans.

[needsnoheadsman]

There's really no way you could make them appetizing, I'm more surprised they even tried.

[...probably they didn't, he reflects now. Live crow or calf's brains, it doesn't make a difference, Lord Frey had wanted to humiliate them before he had them all slaughtered in his hall.

Ah.] If you're not human, then, what are you? [He's as neutral as possible, trying to stay polite. He's seen some strange things since coming here, and he's not about to make the mistake of slighting someone again.]

[sanityinruins]

Use them for making a broth for something like you do with meat bones.

[ He shrugs because he isn't sure and isn't wanting to try it. His brother might know, but his brother has had a lot more time to learn the fine art of food. Ye Zun is just a simple cook, really. ]

Dixingren. [ Which doesn't mean anything to most people, so he blinks and frowns, trying to think how to explain it. ] Naturalized aliens that live underground. [ Yeah. That will work. ]

[needsnoheadsman]

...it still sounds terrible.

[Dixing-what.

What.]

You seem human enough to me, why do you need to live underground?

[sanityinruins]

It probably is, and I'm sure it's used to make glue of some sort, but at least you wouldn't be expected to eat it.

[ He can't help that the language is so weird and they just threw these words together. If he had been in charge he would have used something a little more poetic. ]

Our ancestors manipulated our body structures to closely match with the dominate lifeforms of the planet. So yes, we are almost human.

Because that was where they felt comfortable I gather.

[needsnoheadsman]

Be glad you never will.

[Not even if Lord Frey himself were to show up here. He'd have no roof to slaughter Robb and his men under.]

Almost?

[sanityinruins]

[ He hums a response, pouring himself another cup of liquor and downing it without any issue; his twin would have been passed out by now, even the smallest hint of rotgut sicken Shen Wei. ]

Our bodies are adapted to living in heat and near darkness and we also are not as easily sickened by some diseases humans fall to. Nothing too overly dramatic, but enough that makes us different.

[needsnoheadsman]

[It sounds almost like something out of Old Nan's wildest tales—people living underground for generations, turning into something not quite entirely human. Were this a few months ago, Robb would—well, he wouldn't have laughed, but he would've politely disbelieved Ye Zun.

Now, though?]

You've said your ancestors went underground first. Where were they from before that?

[sanityinruins]

[ In a way it is out of an old tale. What felt like history to Ye Zun was a ancient story even to Dixingrens these days. They were long removed from those times where even scraps of the ship have long disappeared. ]

The stars. We came from a different world, sailing across the stars until we crashed.