Video; Where's The Laughter in Slaughter?

[ragnarsson]

[When the camera gets turned on, the first thing to note is that Ivar's face is streaked in blood that has only just started to dry in places. Someone's been out worshiping with the natives in a fashion very familiar to a Viking. If y'all hadn't gotten the impression Ivar was a bloodthirsty barbarian from a bygone era, the imagery is definitely reinforced with the dripping red streaks on his face. Also is that some around his lips as well? Has he been drinking the stuff too? Honestly, though, he seems quite pleased by what's been going on even if everyone else might be disturbed by the casual slaughter of the cows. His tone starts off very serious, since worship is important where he's from.]

About time this place started getting some proper worship going. I know most of you all are from soft places-- [The scorn in his tone is obvious.] --but blood sacrifices are always the best when giving due diligence to these gods where I am from. Blood demands blood, especially if you want them to be on your side in battle, or to favor you at all. It's really not all that different then slaughtering animals for food, just with more rituals and rites to it.

[Then he switches back to his usual tone that ranges somewhere between insanity and half-truths end tends to indulge in.]

It's a good thing we finally got the right sort of animals around here. Otherwise, I might have had to resort to sacrificing one of you. [He muses for a moment before laughing.] I'm joking of course! [Beat.] Human sacrifices only work if they're willing participants.

[OOC: This post is for a general discussion, so feel free to have threads amongst all the characters and thread-jacking rather then just talking with Ivar. Do let me know if you do want a specific thread with him! He has rather...strong opinions about this.]

Comments

[machinamentum]

[ She rolls her shoulders back as if she might still feel those great spines in her back. ]

Yeah, fine now. I got turned into a skag, that's a big psycho dog-like thing from my planet, then a fire skag. Same deal, just, on fire. Pretty weird. Think I ate a fork? Yeah. That was sort of weird to throw back up.

[ Because anyone wants this information. Gaige please, don't horrify the small girl. ]

You're okay, though? Nothing weird happened to you?

[machinamentum]

[ Despite everything, she spits her drink up laughing. HEY AXTON, WHERE ARE YOU, SHE HAS A NEW THING THEY CAN SAY - ]

Yeah. Guess I am. Ivar's got rules. Actual rules. Rules that actually apply right now and that leaves you all off the deep-end.

Not just 'don't do it, because blood is gross and I don't like it, how dare you not know this because I know this', which is like, what half of you are shouting. Sure it is, and cool, you all come from some civilised great place, but apparently that crap isn't self-evident to the locals since blood sacrifice is what they're inclined too.

That's what I did for you. When you told me to chill the fuck out. See, if we were on Pandora, and you pulled the shit you did to me? I'd have found you. I'd have dragged your scrawny ass down, and I would have headbutted you so hard I broke your freaking nose. That's what I do.

But I didn't. I went, hey, maybe this dude knows what he's talking about. So don't give Ivar shit for doing stuff by his rules when apparently those rules are way more applicable than yours are right now and that freaks you all out that everything you all assumed just went out the fucking window.

[timeriffs]

being a scrawny ass gal who does seem pretty bad ass you of all people should probably know not to judge a flat ass by its cover
my nose isnt that easy to get to
but *does* his rules apply right now
the gods *are* here
you can knock on their doors and *ask* them
if i were a god id like at least a text on the matter
throw in some emojis if youre nervous about it

[And being a sort of god himself he says that with great authority. he'd prefer the use of the eggplant emoji.]

[machinamentum]

Oh one day, we're totally wrestling. I wanna see what scrawny ass does. We can call it a date.

But yeah? Because I am pretty sure we're bugs to them, do you give a shit about what ants do except be confused how they got in your house? Odin's only response when I said sometimes people need a punch in the face was 'yeah, cool'. Sooooo, I don't think they really know either way.

He's the dude that comes from the place where these Gods were always real to him. That has the same instinct. I am not saying making him King of the Spiderant Mount or whatever. Fuck dictators.

But, yeah. He's right now the only dude that actually be able to meet them halfway between to actually guide them about this. Since the rest of us are pretty much just confused. Or they're like me, and just expected this to happen eventually.

'Cause do any of us believe like he, and they, do to be able to do this respectfully?

[timeriffs]

yeah the gods here do seem pretty ambivalent
doesnt mean its what they want tho
if they dont care then why waste a perfectly good human being on people that dont give a shit
coz thats my main beef here is all that
i mean i prefer not to dance around in the blood of animals
and if i knew a bunch of people were doing it for me id send out a fucking memo asap
but theres only so much i can protest about that since i love to rub bbq ribs all over my face like blood on a vikings face

[machinamentum]

[ She isn't, exactly. They get along like a house on fire but that is hardly a surprise. He's the one guy she doesn't feel like she's walking on eggshells for just daring to breathe half the time. He's familiar in its way. ]

I'll make sure. I mean, you're the dude that looked like a Tyrant, right? When I was a skag.

[ Even so, she shrugs. ]

Something awful. ... Uh, have you fought giant monsters? Please tell me someone else fights giant monsters.

[timeriffs]

good he def doesnt need to learn more from you of all folks
no need to spread alternia ideals to a buncha people
tho i know law and order is more what tickles your bones
but that shit was still pretty bloody
sorry
not trying to slam on your home here
just a lil frazzled i guess

[machinamentum]

Odin certainly doesn't seem upset, and he's all for punching people. From what he said to Rhys, they're feeling the joy of the celebration at the very least?

So. It's certainly not in the wrong theme, apparently. Means that worship, however it comes, isn't in the wrong idea if you care about them. So my point still stands.

Fuck.
Sorry.

I forgot what we were talking about.
Ivar's real fucking hot when he does that.

[momsboy]

[ It's probably a dangerous mix but Peter's sure not going to judge. It's nice to finds someone to connect with, no matter how unusual that friendship might look. ]

If a Tyrant is what your people call 'giant lizard with very sharp teeth and huge as ball talons' then yeah, that was me. It was weird but fun.

[ He gives a short but quick nod. ]

Yeeep. All kinds! Got paid to stop a few of them who were attacking people, others just attacked my team at random and we had to blew them up to survive. Some smell really bad, specially when their inside turn out to be their outsides. I come from space, though, so we fight them in different planets.

[timeriffs]

ive been to a lot of parties
they were all pretty happenin
things got sloppy
many cakes were thrown
you could feel that joy
and nothing was killed
just sayin

...i guess
even sans animal blood hes not my type

[machinamentum]

I'm not saying this just to be an ass.
But nothing?
You didn't even shoot like
anything?
What kind of parties do you even throw?

Guh, you are missing out dude. His eyes. And he's got this fucking little grin when he's excited? Like right now until everyone decided to ruin it by making him sad about the animal stuff. And that accent. He says things real pretty, too. Like he's out of a book or something.

We're going to go kill some chickens as an experiment to see if I can get back at Skadi for turning me into a skag.

[timeriffs]

i mean sometimes shooting happens
especially with jake around
but probably just at trees or
clouds
fuck idk what he shoots at
butterflies???

anyway
i got a pretty specific type
and he isnt close
but more power to you
you could also think about just putting seran wrap around her toilet bowl
youll probably get some actual results that way

[machinamentum]

Yeap, that's it. I was the uh. Three-legged maybe dog looking thing, that was just on fire?

[ Because that's a sentence. ]

Yeah, same deal. I mean I also get paid to kill like, random bandits and shit, odd jobs here and there. But mostly the Vault Hunter bizz is fighting the shit no one else wants too.

[machinamentum]

Butterflies?
That checks.

Yeah, same. Someone who doesn't give a shit about getting punched. Last three dudes I laid I got into a brawl with first.

Oh, no, no, no I am not done yet. This is phase one. Just wait. If this works, I'll have all my dreams come true.

[machinamentum]

Really nasty animal. Prone to eating anything and everything, highly aggressive. Tastes like vomit and sadness. Has a thick skin, so you want to take it off if you're eating it, have to do it with a saw. Or I'd be in charge of it back when my arm worked properly!!!

Kitchens are optional to this stuff. We usually just hung it up over a fire and went about it that way.

video;

[sanityinruins]

I doubt he realizes what that entales, so I'm just letting him do as he will.

Good luck with that. That one seems a bit less hinged than the rest.

[thequitecontrary]

And similarly I should be offended to be called a shrew for expressing my opinions? Fortunately, what you think of me doesn't matter to me.

[ She's aware what 'take over' meant in his time. It probably still means that in some places in her time as well. It doesn't mean she has to be happy about it. ]

I'm an Englishwoman. I have Anglo-Saxon heritage as well as Norwegian and French. My mother probably has some other European heritage as well. York still has traces of the Vikings, but they're long gone. The Normans drove them out centuries ago.

[thequitecontrary]

You have my full support. You were able to articulate what I was feeling in a much more eloquent manner.

Also, my business at home was running the farms on my family's estate, so I do know a thing or two about livestock. I'm willing to help in that area if necessary.

[sassery]

you and i are gonna agree to disagree or w/e
i dont really think it speaks of anything good imo

hell no
definitely not
im not the kind of person for that anyway
someone else can do that job

text

[sassery]

ia though tbh some people are gonna just
go by "we" in general bc they like this sort of thing?
its weird

yeah no shit
you cant just keep killing things in the hopes theyll show up
or it brings more
thats not how it works
thats not how ANY of this works

[sassery]

oh boy
are you saying we need common sense
bc if so
good luck
common sense seems about as rare as a flying pig tbh

yeah theres definitely gotta be something they have to follow
if that makes sense
i mean its been okay so far but who knows
even an isolated island has laws to keep people in line

[ragnarsson]

Good. I can work with people that actually want to change things. It's those that sit around bitching and complaining without contributing anything that make me annoyed. So. [He pauses, assessing what he can see of Kirk before he continues. There's something sharp about those piercing blue eyes Ivar has, like they can see right down into the heart of a person.] How does the idea of compromise sound to you?

[momsboy]

Oh!...Hah. You look waaaay better not on fire, miss.

[ Says a lot about Peter's life that it sounds like a completely normal explanation to him. ]

Sounds a bit like what the Ravagers do as well. Not a glamorous job but someone needs to do it. What's the name of your homeworld, planet...?

[momsboy]

I'm naming him David Bowie, like a signer from my home planet. Bowie for short.

[ Peter already named him the first night he found the pig. ]

sorry for antagonism LMFAO

[imahealerbut]

[Wen Qing just deadpans.]

I wasn’t quite committed to offending you. I’m not sure if you’re worth the effort at the moment.