asgardgenesis | [⛤ VIDEO #1 ]

Soooo, that was unpleasant.

[ Crowley is recording while sat at a desk with a few books scattered around. It's clearly Odinhaus, to anyone who has been inside, and also clearly Aziraphale's to anyone who recognises it.

This is not especially a surprise to anyone else who lives there, given that his voice can probably be heard from somewhere in it nearly all the time. ]

Tree thing. Bad tree. Gnome thing, too, very weird -- wouldn't expect that of gnomes, kidnapping people and all. Thought they just hung around in gardens and looked after princesses.

[ Isn't that right? It's possible Crowley's information is, uh, irrelevant. ]

Anyway, speaking of trees -- I did learn something about the other tree. The, uh, main big tree.

[ The name has a lot of letters and he keeps getting it wrong ]

Big, important tree.

[ A sedate, if slightly frustrated background voice says Be clear you're talking about Yggdrasil. It's definitely Aziraphale's voice. ]

Yeah, that one. So, turns out the uh... whole... absorbing you without the bracelets thing might have something to it. Or, at least, the tree definitely does that -- I mean, less absorbing and more... unravelling you, sort of... permanently... from having ever existed. Little bit murkier on if it's definitely connected to the jewellery not being worn, but proving that seems... difficult.

[ 'Hey, do you mind taking off your bracelet to see if you get permanently deleted from history' seems a bit of a hard sell. ]

Anyway, interesting though. Weird, but interesting. Oh! Another thing --

[ Crowley turns his recording so there's a quick pan of some of the tiny room in Odinhaus. ]

Bit pokey, aren't they? These little dorm rooms. Feel like I'm in a budget hostel.

[ It isn't... that bad... ]

Has anyone moved out of these places? Must be other places you can live.

[ Aziraphale's voice pipes up again: Other places you might live where company is allowed overnight, he specifies. Crowley shoots him a slight frown off screen, tries to act relaxed about this correction. ]

Yeah, you know, places you don't get kicked out early.

[ Right. That. ]

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[ He's silent for a few seconds. Can the gods speak to the tree? Wouldn't they have more answers, if so? Maybe it's a weird, cryptic tree. Or maybe it only speaks when it wants to.

Well.

Nothing is becoming any clearer. ]

No idea.

What did you think about the ... gnome ... people?

[John doesn't have to know you very well to understand that you are withholding information. But if you're not going to give it over, there is only so much he can press.]

So what you are saying is that Odin has relayed to you that if we are to somehow remove these bracelets, which we seemingly cannot do on our own, then... We will erase ourselves from existence?

[ I mean, fair. Still: ]

If you imagine, for a moment, being buried a few feet under the ground. Just dirt and rocks around you. No idea why you're there or if anyone is going to come for you. Now, I am pretty sure you'd have stronger thoughts than bad at that point

[ Fake play. That's an interesting thought. ]

Well, going by the theme we have going on here early Vikings didn't have a set currency until they raided everyone else and stole theirs. Suppose there's not many people to raid here, other than gnomes.

No, no.

[ He'd just say that if he thought it, honestly. ]

Just thinking it must be nice work, just pointing at a bunch of stuff and telling people to dig it or whatever. Compliant work force, very nice. No unions or anything here yet.

[ Mmmm. Crowley's face scrunches up immediately. ]

Not a fan. Don't trust anyone whose first instinct is to bury you in the ground before introducing themselves.

Not just your current existence, from ever having existed at all. Fun little trick, really.

[ It isn't fun at all. ]

[ He huffs. ]

Tell me about it. I get the perks of avoiding a war and all, but I kind of wanted to at least punch one of them in the face for burying me alive.

[ It gets terrifying when you think about it for long. Specially if you can't tell when the other shoe will drop. ]

True that. Hm...well, here's a thought for you. Maybe try to figure out a new Monetary System that works for all of us? If you wanted a job to keep you busy, establishing that will sure take a few months, if not longer.

No. [ Mary raises an eyebrow at him. ] Thinking of starting one for the natives?

I must ask you bluntly sir, but. You were skeptical of the gods before. What has changed that you believe their words now?

[Unless there was some sort of practical demonstration involved. Please, Crowley. You can't honestly expect him to believe that this was all relayed through a conversation.]

[ Same hat, my dude. Crowley absolutely wanted to ruin their day. ]

Honestly, if you ask me burying someone alive is pretty much starting a war. First offence and all, I know, but that many people? You're way past starting on the wrong foot. Seems a pretty aggressive move is all I'm saying. Anyway, does anyone really trust gnomes?

[ Oh, so you want him to invent money? You're that desperate to be in debt? Well, since you ask -- ]

Could do. I think the vikings used weights initially? Silver weight, mostly, you know -- on top of all the other currency they stole. Trade the weight in whatever for the same weight of pieces of silver and all.

Now that's an idea.

[ As if he hadn't already been thinking about it. ]

Do you really think that they even know how? You are talking about beings that sometimes talk about how gross having a solid form feels.

[ Even through the mask, he's doing that judgement stare. ]

[ Kind off? He wants a system that doesn't make it looks like he's either begging for things or taking advantage of people. ]

I could ask Ivar that, he's a Viking. And you seem very knowledgeable about this kind of thing. Fond of History, I take it?

I don't exactly have any previous experience with gnomes.

[ He takes a deep breath, lets it out in a slow, thoughtful exhale. ]

Don't necessarily believe all of them.

[ Still hedging. ]

Seen a lot more weird things, though. It all adds up.

[ We-ell... ]

Bits of it. Not big on the fourteenth century.

[ Too boring, that one. ]

[ Neither does Crowley but is he admitting that? No. ]

Small. Weird. Always lurking around gardens, watching you.

[ He's thinking of garden gnomes, yes. The little statues. ]

[ How about you don't do that, Crowley. ]

Good luck explaining it to them. When we first got animals here, the natives thought they had to sacrifice them and bathe in their blood in order for the gods to give them more.

[ Heh. ]

Did they even have anything fun in the centuries previous to XIX? I'm not exactly super versed in history but mostly they have disease and bad teeth.

[ Hmmm, well. ]

Little bit of sacrifice and blood has always been traditional, can't blame them.

[John isn't certain that there isn't more to this story but Crowley has made it clear that whatever it is, he's not going to share.]

Indeed.

[Shaking his head, he decides to focus again on the other man's second topic at hand.]

Regardless, I do hope you find somewhere more appropriate for both yourself and Mr Fell. The current restrictions on the housing they've supplied us with are most unfortunate.

Uhmmm.

[ Wait. He thinks he's heard of this. ]

Are those actually real?

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